DAILY RAMBLINGS

Unexpected

2012-02-06T21:03:00.000+08:00

How should i put it in words for this whole happening that happened unexpectedly.
It was no doubt a very sweet and unforgettable night. I wonder if God is making me a fool again; i hope not.
That feeling still lingers whenever i think about it. It feels so sweet but so funny.

Different phase

2012-01-27T17:11:00.000+08:00

Happy Lunar New Year !
It is officially a new year for me. Been having lots thoughts and definitely been through a lot. Well i guess i am officially and finally standing up stronger than ever.
Nothing ever gonna beat me down or even crush me. I won't wanna be living in a world filled with fear.
" Live life without fear, stay happy and make everyone around me be filled with my happiness".

I just can't wait to graduate and move on with my life and career if i can ever get it.
Once i get hold of my dreams, i am a step nearer in reaching my goals.
I roughly remember writing on the white float-able ball " i hope that my life in 2012 will be even better and be happy always".

I wanna be happy as long as i want, i won't wanna be living through sad and emotional days again.
However to that, i will still be keeping him in my prayers and a part of my life.
Right now, i am a grown up. Being 22 this year ain't a joke. I have roles and responsibilities and i had my fun.
I gotta be serious in life and start growing up as an adult. I am done with my nonsense and gotta start thinking of my future. Am not getting younger, i feel really old whenever my friends around are just 19,20 and 21.
Well, wish my luck in my life,dreams and my goals <3

Ps. Thanks for everything you had taught me

confusion

2012-01-09T23:36:00.000+08:00

Recently, i need plenty of comfort. i need to rest badly... Been working too much during the holiday and definitely playing hard too.
Things around me has changed.. It feels really different right now.
I start to realize i have a long way ahead in life and i am afraid to face it.
Wonder what my future is..

2012, please be good (:

2012-01-06T14:58:00.000+08:00

New Year with a NEW BEGINNING !! Jotting down my new year resolution which i will have every year.. and yesss! i will definitely achieve it !
With no aim,there'll be no goal and no success... Go with the old, come with the new <3

Ps. You will always be remembered even if its a new year. ILoveYou

Meant to be will be

2011-12-15T11:42:00.001+08:00

What comes may come, I don’t want to hurt anyone feelings. I might be doing pretty well right now. But still, when it comes to a matter of heart. I’m still going to take it slow. I won’t treat anyone as a rebound because I won’t want to be treated as one too.

Life does get better.
All we got to do, is just have a little faith and stop thinking about depressing issue. Then good things do come, it will come. Don’t do hate, because hating someone needs more energy than you can every think of. It makes you angry, it makes you lethargic, it makes you unhappy, it makes my life not worthwhile. Let go of the hatred and let love comes in, I can assure you, you will be happier than before.

PS. I will always keep you warm in my heart.

what is left?

2011-12-13T00:36:00.000+08:00

Loving you is painful but yet i still went ahead with my own true feelings. But you...
you were afraid. You're scared of the future.. You dare not take a gamble with me and walk through all test.
If you love me, you would have..
Now, its all gone. Nothing is left except the past love we had.
All shattered...unable to find those bits and pieces to have it fixed back.

Will there ever be a day it will be whole as how it used to be?
What will the future be for you and i?

Ps. i still miss you every minute and every second.

Reborn

2011-12-07T00:15:00.000+08:00

Today marks a start of my new life. It will be filled with lots of surprises and definitely more play time(:
I finally understood the things I've been missing in life. I thank my friends for being there for me even when i was attached and not spending time with them .
Best ever thing is that, i realized i have way more males friends than female. But i am able to keep a distance from them and yet they will still be there. I wonder whats are on their mind. Oh well, they are still my friends !

Although i may be thinking of you every now and then. " What are you doing? " . "How is your day?".
I may still have the urge to message and ask you. Guess it is a habit..
Are you thinking about me too?
I ever want to ask you out for lunch or dinner... but just as normal buddies.

Hello December [:

2011-12-02T11:58:00.001+08:00

I flip the calender and all I see was a festive months and I foresee more parties and more drinking. So my least favourite or favourite month ended and I’m nowhere near what I planned for myself. I need more focus. November has been great and not great. Met a lot of new friends. Partied a bit more harder.
I caught up with a lot of old friends as well. So I guess, god has place his mercy on me and make my life a lot more easier with all these toiled emotions in me. Let’s just pray that all will be good for this month and blessed me w a good hot bod soon and end this roller coaster 2011 with a BANG. :)

Hi Santa, you know I’ve always love you

What more can i say ?

2011-12-01T10:37:00.002+08:00

Anyone who falls in love is searching for the missing pieces of themselves. So anyone who’s in love gets sad when they think of their lover. It’s like stepping back inside a room you have fond memories of, one you haven’t seen in a long time. It’s just a natural feeling. You’re not the person who discovered that feeling

The good times and the bad times both will pass. It will pass. It will get easier. But the fact that it will get easier does not mean that it doesn't hurt now. And when people try to minimize your pain they are doing you a disservice. And when you try to minimize your own pain you’re doing yourself a disservice. Don’t do that. The truth is that it hurts because it’s real. It hurts because it mattered. And that’s an important thing to acknowledge to yourself. But that doesn't mean that it won’t end, that it won’t get better. Because it will.

Ironically.

2011-11-26T00:23:00.000+08:00

I hate love but I still yearn for it.

Don’t you realize that ironic my middle name?

You know what hurts the most ?

2011-11-25T00:36:00.000+08:00

You know what hurts the most ?

Reminiscing how we were from the beginning, how it all changed and how we got to this point. Isn’t it funny how we were two people that were so sprung for each other, we were full of many smiles, laughs and butterflies. Then all of a sudden everything changed, and we reached this point where we can’t even last a day without fighting and arguing, we can’t even have a decent phone call without one of us hanging up. So one question, when did our smiles, laughs and butterflies turn into fights, arguments and hatred for one another?

love.hurt.pain

2011-11-22T23:34:00.000+08:00

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life.You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love. "

Hurt Love

2011-11-11T16:57:00.000+08:00

Hurt Love

I’m a wreck myself. I’m acting like a bitch. Someone hurt me, I hurt him back. & in return, I suffer the ultimate blow. This all time low shit has to stop its relapse. I was doing good all this while and suddenly it has to start coming back to me. I need to stop creating unnecessary drama for myself. I had enough of myself. Probably, we will never be the person we thought we could be. So many beliefs, so many promises, and in the end, they are nothing but some substances that made my broken pieces even broken. I don’t deserve anyone anymore. I don’t think I deserve myself too. When will I ever truly get over you? Probably by then, then I’m able to find myself back. Lost soul with a broken soul within a broken heart.

This isn’t what I want.

2011-11-04T15:05:00.000+08:00

I wonder if you ever think of me?

and if you wish your life were different

Uneasy yet present to be alright. Can't take it lying down.

I am not being loved. Its too far fetched.
Love is there but never gonna be the same again.
Thanks for adding pain and more pain into my life.
Its enough. I need to make a decision.
It's time to stand for myself.
Its time....

Every now and then
uneasy feeling piercing through my skin; my heart .

No words can ever be comforting.

Its so hard to get over it.
Its me...Its you
It is just you if you realize.
It was never me....
Never me.
Its time..

Feelings?

2011-10-31T23:05:00.000+08:00

" I’m not brave any more darling. I’m all broken.
They've broken me. "

I wish you were here

2011-10-31T15:06:00.000+08:00

And i remember all those crazy things you said

You left them running through my head

You're always there you're everywhere

But right now i wish you were here

All those crazy things we did

Didn't think about it just went with it

You're always there you're everywhere

But right now i wish you were here

Stay Strong? Not!

2011-10-27T23:52:00.000+08:00

So sick and tired of those happenings.
I'm really sick this time with cold and cough.. What a terrible time and i am all alone to take care of myself.

Open heart, knife edge held

2011-10-21T01:05:00.000+08:00

The sadness i felt the whole time. Can't be explainable.
Knowing your plans, the way you communicate make me insecure.
I don't want to think any of it. It hurts so much my heart can barely beat properly.

Told you that i wanna go Sydney with you for the the first time and explore. My words are not important that of your friends and your cousin.
At that moment, i want to stop saving for my trip to Australia next year.
Can i at least feel important for the 1st time?
I doubt it will ever happen.. I'll just dream about it.

Such a failure, I am...

i have a huge heart

2011-10-19T00:29:00.000+08:00

I will take the blame for anything that happens.
I will take it in without any arguments.
I will and able to take it...

Am i being silly? naive?
i am a joke in life.

What am i suppose to do?
staring blankly into space..
asking my mind, what is left of me to survive..

What is left inside me ?

2011-10-16T23:56:00.001+08:00

No one may be able to understand how i am feeling for the past 3 weeks and till now.
It feels as thou it is the end of the world. I've lost the one most important person in my life..
I feel blamed this whole while as if he is punishing me for what i have caused him to feel. But on a second thought, you have made something out of the whole situation. You benefit while i lose out.
I felt like a loser, no one to turn to; no one to talk to.
Screwing up my life any sooner. Going back to my old ways..
I've lost the fight. I've lost..
It feel as thou i am nothing to you anymore. Not worthy for you to love me..
Every single time, i think about us-the past.
Others were so envy of us being loving, as though we're like a married couple.

Right now, at this moment.. After you left;many things happen. You changed.
Your direction changed. i felt i am no longer important to you. You may say i am being paranoid.
I am not... It is your action which tells me and made me feel it.
All of a sudden, i just felt like a really close friend to you. Its just similar to all the rest of your friends.
Who am i? Just Cassandra....
Who are u? Some rich kid who loves the power etc.
Where is my Bryan, who seeks for the innocent love and once said he doesn't want to lose it and keep it forever.. Where is he? i want him back.. I sincerely wants him back.

Love, what is love? is just a word after all.
What do i have? just love to give.
In return, I've got nothing at all.

Baby, i need you back.
You and I are on a different level now..
I am climbing up and up just to reach your standard.
Communicating with you made me feel stupid.
You've become so different. Just like those rich kid and think highly of themselves.
Where is my Bryan who was so down to earth?
Who was so humble, doesn't look down on others ?
Each night, i pray to God. Guide me to the right path and show me the light.
Give me the utmost strength to carry on and wait for him to be reborn.

PS. It was just a lie.
Bryan Ong I love u dear, i will hold on tight to u and wont let you go. we will find a way to make things better

That's what he said...

2011-08-25T12:06:00.000+08:00

It has been more than a month. I am still not coping very well.
I have this past trauma? That's what he said... I am mentally sick ? That's what he said...
I am under depression? That's what he said... I am emotionally attached? That's what he said...
I am stubborn? That's what he said...

How many more things that he have said? I don't know.
After i woke up from my sleep.. I came to realize loving someone is scary.
I don't want to fight. I don't want to argue.
Why can't love be as peaceful... But hey, there's no such thing.
Because this is a realistic world is not a fairy-tale.
Fairy- tale only exist in the mind of a small kid. I am no longer a child but a grown up adult.

What more can i say now about my life... I guess all these got to stop.

Time out

2011-07-04T15:53:00.001+08:00

Yes! you're back.. Back into my life for just 2 days.

The whole night having you right beside me, never letting me go made me feel whole again.

But it was just a short happiness.

Once again, we are apart; no communication, no nothing.. It may be killing me inside,feeling really lost and empty but i think and hope it is worthwhile. I've been too engrossed of us and you. It is scary,i know.

But this long distance is not as simple as you or i think it is...

What we've build together for this 2 whole years will just go down the drain.

Like what you've said : "To love someone, is to be able to lose someone".

who knew

2011-06-29T10:48:00.000+08:00

Facing life aimlessly with no goal. What has become of me...Returning back to the past which i never want to face it again. On the verge of losing my love,my soul.

OH PLEASEEEEE!

2011-05-09T15:29:00.000+08:00

Made a wrong turn, once or twice.
Dug my way out, blood and fire.
Bad decisions, that's alright.
Welcome to my silly life.
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood.
Miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down.
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated.
Look, I'm still around.

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than fuckin' perfect.
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing,
You're fuckin' perfect to me

You're so mean when you talk about yourself; you were wrong.
Change the voices in your head; make them like you instead.
So complicated, look happy, you'll make it
Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game.
It's enough; I've done all I can think of.
Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same.

Not good enough

2011-03-23T00:25:00.000+08:00

I will never ever be good enough for you.
Not as sweet as ur ex. Not as loud as ur ex.
This feeling is awful. Made me realize that what I've done for you
Wasn't sweet or good enough.
Just find another girl who can be that.. Sigh.
I'm losing faith in us..

After so long...

2011-03-15T01:47:00.000+08:00

IM BACK!! Back to start blogging and get my life back on track!
Arriving at Bangkok was good? HAHA! I miss using my mobile phone anywhere,everywhere!
How am I suppose to live without my phone and Internet. I would go on my knees and beg.
Why am I talking about phone and network now!! Okay, now my trip..

Me took a first class on Thai airway! Spacious seat, nice food and obviously great drinks like red wine and butterfly p! It's really an unusual drink. It's purple in colour yet the taste was awesome!
Watched my all time favorite movie "TITANIC".

it's been so many years and I still love it so very much!
After that, I checked in @ intercontinental hotel. Not so bad... Even the room ambience was unexpected. Cozy and spacious..

Unpacked luggage and went on to nara for Thai food. I tell you, food was fantastic! Had so much but I threw up. That's bad uhhh! Oh well~

Back to where the food.. Macdonald here so cheap!!!
It's 0046 now! Sleeping an waking up at 8am for breakfast(:
Case gonna be fat fat again! HAHAHAHA!
goodnight peeps(:

Yes or No? U decide....

2011-02-21T00:13:00.000+08:00

After so long, we start again.
There's so much that we or perhaps me
Can't understand.

Will be happier if I let you go?
Will you??
If you do, I will let you go. Just want you to be happy
Since being together will just upset and make u suffer.

But it's so hard just to let you go. I don't know what to do.

Screams

2011-02-02T00:56:00.000+08:00

I wanna go somewhere breezy, dark, quiet and scream my lungs out !
Needa have some air to breathe..
Been too uptight about every single thing..
If i do not have strict and protective parents, i will travel and go on a holiday. I need a huge long vacation to rest and have fun! Going to another country with no memories, no worries and no phone but just plain enjoyment of life.
Can i have that?! I want it so badly... Love to relax my mind and body.
Although right now my parents does not question where i go, what time i am home or etc.
I feel that they are starting to let go..Which i really hope so .

This just reminds me of Gossip Girl. Serena and Blair will tend to go on a holiday when they had a bad time.
Not wanting to behave like them but just the freedom they have.
Gonna get my passport after i graduate from poly!!!!!!!

Luck

2011-02-01T00:33:00.000+08:00

I may be lucky in the morning but not when i'm on the way home.
Hoping baby was there for me though..
"To catch me when i fall... " .
Just blame it on my clumsiness, slipped and fell.
How great was that..
Causing my dear to be so worried for me too.
When will i know how to take care of myself !!
Always causing my loved ones to be so worried for me.
I'm such a bitch... Tsk.

Getting back on track.

2011-01-30T22:43:00.000+08:00

We're talking..like talking.
But will it work ? will anything happen again?
I would say yes..
Nothing is perfect..
This is a huge test..Wrong!
Its a huge exam. One pain in the ass exam!
On this roller coaster ride..It applies to love too.
Giving us ups and down. Its one head ache!

But we'll give it a try and see which ever way works.. Both of us want things to work out! Neither you nor me want to let go..unless ********
No one wanna see us split up too right?

I'm really glad we're putting in effort together and make this relationship grow. I don't want to see it coming to a waste. Been through quite a lot and there's still so much more to face together. I will face it with you no matter how much pain it is...
Because this is how much i love you.
I will never choose to let you go baby..

It's a cold cold night.

2011-01-29T22:35:00.000+08:00

Confuse state right now.
Reading through the whole load
of messages you left, left me unspoken.
I don't know what to say to you. I don't wish to hurt you nor argue with you.
I'm so scared of all these. I'm so scared that if we have any conversation,
it'll lead to a bad bad ending. I don't know how to start and what to say..
This feeling so lost..
Can you guide me? In really lost.

To you.

2011-01-29T02:21:00.001+08:00

why wouldn't you?
Why and all why's...
There's so many why's going round my mind.
It like cars caught it traffic jam.
Everything just get stuck and none of it makes sense.

Why can't i be updated than to wait and ask..Wanna know more about your life,your school and your conversation u had with your friends.
I'm just so afraid to ask you. It's just so hard... I don't know where and how to start.
You may be committed but as time past.. It seems to me you're just on your own. Your own life and only you.
Every conversation we have, there's loopholes.We'll start arguing and no stop to it until one gives in.
Can't talk to you as how we used to converse. It's bad and i am scared.
Every single time, i screw up. I can't take it. I wanna be the best girlfriend but it seems to be so hard.
I got to be very understanding, got to be this and that. I'm not that kind of girl... Do you know it is hard for me.
Every time i tell myself, Cass, everything will be fine. Just be understanding. He is probably tired after a day in school and too much stuff in his head. And he thinks that its needless for me to know anything because he is not entertained blah blah blah. And next what, i'll just throw my phone one side and cry silently to sleep.

" Smile and pretend everything's okay " .
And yes, i do that. Keeping it inside and not saying anything but arguments kept happening.
You're tired, i am tired too.
Causing you to feel unhappy ain't making me feel any better.
If i ever give up, its not because of anyone or i don't love you.
But i love you so much i don't wanna see you so pressured.
You can't breathe properly...
Definitely i never want any of that to happen. I need you because i love you.

Now that we are in different continents, whatever little thing you do,say or forget will just make us fall.
Felt less important and i will be forgotten...Even feelings for me will be distant.
We're not like before when we argued, we'll meet up the next day to resolve it and situation got better.
Right now, when we argue..We can't even talk properly or even see each other.
Its painful when i can't hear/see you and its just a message.
Can i at least feel that u care? Do you know how happy i was when you ask me what i'm going to do,what i'm gonna have for lunch and what time i end my lesson..
When you're here with me, its fine that you don't ask..
But its different now, you're away..
Am i even asking too much?

I'm broken. It takes up a lot of strength to put it back together. Can you please help me?
Not strong,trying to be so strong when i'm not. Its tiring and painful.. Painful that every night i feel so cold.
I miss you and i need you..I can't feel you;your love. I can't....
I'm scared baby. Hold on tight to me, will you?

22 months

2011-01-24T23:00:00.001+08:00

22 months being together..
Just 2 more months to our 2nd year anniversary.

Looking at the number 2's repeatedly,kinda weird.
It just came to me...Are we gonna just spend every anniversary in different continents?

okay, that will be a very sad story.

No more.

2011-01-16T15:19:00.000+08:00

From this moment onwards, i shall stop thinking about you.
It keeps bothering me.
you seems to be wanting to be left alone.
Have you changed? I guess so..
The way we talk, the way we communicate has changed.
I don't feel the close connection we used to have.
Everything is so different now..
No wonder "long distance romance" does not last at all.
I'll see how long we can last...

Regrets

2011-01-04T11:34:00.000+08:00

This day was the day that set me thinking whether i should give you up.
I was so loss at every single thing. Couldn't think straight at all.
Regret saying stuff which i should not have said.
It just make things worst.
After realizing how nonsensical i was... I start to think through.
It went well. Set me to have a positive mindset starting from now onwards.
I know you love me its enough.. Should not rely too much but take life and things that is happening right now easy!

Strong-less

2011-01-03T11:16:00.007+08:00

As usual..i've gone nuts.
Moody mood the whole day.

Holding on

2011-01-02T12:02:00.005+08:00

I'm holding on.
Trying every ways to think less of him but nahs...its not working..
Everything i do, even eating. Reminds me of him.
Is this good or bad?

Then when he came online, i was so happy to see him.
I had the appetite to eat and do my stuff.
I miss him very much..

New year!

2011-01-01T00:20:00.010+08:00

Happy New Year!
A great year to start with but contains a little sadness for me.

Baby Ong left for Melbourne to study. I miss him so much.
Right now as i am typing, this sad feeling just can't stop. Can't even stop my tears from flowing out.
I know he is coming back but i just felt empty. Can't seem to feel him near me..
Guess i can't be able to sleep tonight. Swollen eyes and swollen nose.
I will try my best to stay strong.

Ps. Dear, i miss you very very much.

What to do

2010-12-08T01:17:00.000+08:00

Felt so lifeless,nothing else for me to do. I'M BORED!
Evaluation tomorrow.Bet it gonna suck big time!
I NEED A LIFE. MAKE ONE. MAKE IT HAPPEN.
Right, i am blabbering nonsense.
Goodnight earthlings.

Counting down

2010-12-04T03:27:00.000+08:00

Others are counting down to 2011. I'm reluctant to do so.
Still can't accept the fact that Bryan is leaving for Aussie in 21 days or less.
Been observing, starting to worry.
I cannot do this alone.

And that shit happened again.
Every time i think of i it, my heart ache.
Its aching inside that i just want you right here beside me; holding me tight and whisper to me " I love you, i will never let you go".
I'm may appear happy but in depth. Feels like some emotions dilemma inside.
oh god, please get me out of this.

a day to celebrate

2010-11-10T00:05:00.000+08:00

Over the moon with baby passing his driving lesson. Had a wonderful buffet dinner at shangri-la.
The bill was a bomb. It is the most ever expensive dinner i ever had and treated.

But its value for money as the seafood was really FRESH!!! Even the sashimi (:
It was an enjoyable day spent with him. I hope i can get the photos uploaded soon!!

OH CRAP!

2010-11-04T00:16:00.001+08:00

Crap! It's crap.
what is wrong..It's not my day. Absolutely not.
Getting frustrated at the slightest bit.
Want a break off from everything.

f*** damn f***ed up.
i need to chill...

No more.

2010-10-22T01:09:00.001+08:00

I need you.

Can't do this alone.

You'll be going in 2 months time.
Can't i ask u to pay more attention to me?

Am i asking way too much?

I don't wanna cry in my sleep.

It's no fun at all.

Just want to be happy and enjoy my time with you.

Cause soon,you'll be away.
I can't have u beside me when i need you badly.

I can't look for you when i'm in trouble.
Its so difficult for me.
I'm not as strong as u think i am. i'm not.....

Pointless

2010-10-21T00:19:00.000+08:00

What's the point talking to you when i can't even express myself..
Its useless... Nothing change at all.
I ever wonder, do you even read my entries.
You're just way too busy with everything.

Gotta be a way

2010-10-11T14:00:00.002+08:00

It been 2 days. Been giving you cold shoulders,just can't bring myself to talk to you properly. I am trying to..but it just seems difficult. Felt awkward talking to you sweetly. I cannot get that out of my head.. Maybe it is still hurting me deeply. A simple task i ask for is to be updated. Is it that difficult? Perhaps to you, is too much too ask or it got slipped off your mind cause you're too busy talking and socializing. Sometimes, I don't want to be the first who message you, the first who ask you where are you and what are you doing. Can you be the first?

These days, I have been wanting to stay away from you.Not wanting to talk to you on the phone. Don't even know what i am doing..

Sometimes, i wonder. Will we even last?? okay, no point thinking about this.

Promises

2010-10-06T02:35:00.000+08:00

Had a conversation with B. Made promises about how are we gonna deal if any of the opposite gender approach us. Thought through about it, it can get really tricky. What if those promises are broken? Can't imagine it.
But still, i just wished the promises both of us made are well promised.

Nowhere.

2010-09-12T02:42:00.000+08:00

I'm hot and cold. Yes and no..
Been behaving in this manner for a week.Causing my loved one to feel insecure. Not that there's another guy or so..It just seems to bug me that time flies. Too fast that i wanna pause and slow down. Its such a sad thing that i can do nothing about it. The way we're leading our life now just leaves me lesser time to be spent with you. I can't imagine not having you by my side. Yes, i am a person with no security. I don't like it but what can i do? Whenever i tell my big brain to stay strong,my small brain will weaken my big brain. How is it possible for me to do it alone for 4 years? You know it scares me to live independently,it feels like i will need to live a single life. Everything will start to change. Why is it that i can't have someone who would be there for me physically. Why must i go through this shit. Why must it happen when i am truly deeply in love with someone. Why can't i have a less tough and tiring relationship. why why why?!

Love may be the most beautiful thing on Earth.You are entirely filled with twice the emotions. When it come close to you, you would want to hold it tight and not let go. And once you let go, the heartbreak will be 10 times more than usual.
Am i prepared to face anything which has yet to happen or any decision which i will make in future?

WHY!

2010-09-06T21:17:00.000+08:00

I should really stop eating... I'm putting on weight.
But i just can't stop myself. Am i suffering from some illness..DAMN IT!
Sucks to be fat.

A day to celebrate

2010-08-03T15:01:00.000+08:00

It's bryan's ORD PARADE.
First time stepping into an army camp. Feels kinda weird...
Perhaps im not used to what im wearing since im always wearing shorts and shirt.
Back to the parade...
Everyone(soldiers) was dressed in their NO.1 uniform. Very smart looking.
Looking at bryan,just sooo...manly (:
Pity those supporting groups. Gotta stand there and not move.. But soon, it will be their turn to ORD. And i realise they are all so tanned compared to those ORD soldiers.
But who cares, bryan is the one that i am looking out for.
The rifle they are carrying is heavy man. Can't imagine myself standing under the hot sun practicing for days with that heavy equipment.

Time flies.. It was months ago when i was counting down to bryan's ord. WOW!
Next i am counting down to end of dec and baby will be flying to study.

Dreams

2010-07-23T13:56:00.000+08:00

Are dreams the opposite from reality.
Feeling so real, leaving you in a world of mystery. A mystery of whether is true.
It's dark and you're all alone. Can't stop thinking about it even you were given assurance.
As u have no control of the future but only a full control of your own life.

2010-07-10T17:09:00.000+08:00

Behaving this way is not what i wanted but i still did it.
I don't want to break when I speak
I don't want to shake while I'm standing
I don't want to crawl into another hole
I don't know what I'm hiding for.
I don't want to fall when I stand.
I just want to be the girl I use to be when I was me and worry free.

But I can't keep on running
No I just can't keep on running away from here
I know that the only way to be is to fight my every fear
I'm not going to make it 'til I turn around and face it alone, I know
I can't just keep running, no I just can't keep on running away.

you gotta stop

2010-06-22T15:50:00.000+08:00

Loving you is an easy thing. But in long term..seems scary.
Such a simple thing but a deep thing to understand.
Being reminded again and again.. Its not a big deal.
Without ur absence, what will become of me.
Guess im just weak in the inside.

Falling for you was never a mistake.
You gave me moments. In which i will bring it with me till the end.

random updates

2010-06-04T11:05:00.001+08:00

I'm totally clueless on what to update.
Everything in my life now, are going fine. Within my control but not emotionally.

I AM MISSING BRYAN ONG EVERYDAY!!!

Absolutely wrong

2010-05-10T10:55:00.000+08:00

It is wrong to be feeling this way. I seem to be distant from you.
Was it because i don't see you often? I do miss you a lot but it is just the feeling of not being close.
It feel like as though i am seeing a long lost friend whom i have feelings for...
I do love you very much. But why this sudden feeling...i can't explain it myself.
Was it because i am protecting myself from falling further and deeper for you just to not get myself hurt.
I am afraid to lose you.
I want you.
I need you.
And.... I love you.

Its not over

2010-05-07T14:03:00.000+08:00

Ip man 2 was a great show! Can i just possess those stunts...
Before the awesome movie, i had my traffic police. Did not went well for me ):
i failed terribly . But its okay! There's a second time and no more another time.
I swore to myself that i neeeda work really hard to pass my last Traffic Police.
Every now and then i am looking out for my next traffic police. So i can boook it before my PDL expires.

Think i am dying to pass was to outwin my elder sister. Since she got at at the age at 22. I hope to get it at 20.
I don't wanna delay. As, if i were to step into the working society, i will not have the time to rush down to UBI for my lessons and it is difficult to even get a practical test date.

OH GOD!! I wanna passssss badly!

Pause the time

2010-05-04T13:53:00.000+08:00

Screaming,laughing with tennis peeps. Just when i recieved a message " Intake on 5th Jan".
It was fineee but unknowingly it feels unbearable. Pretended that it was okay and good...
This feeeling was too much. Wishing time can pass by as slow as it can be..

Changes

2010-05-01T22:15:00.000+08:00

I dare not think, dare not face. Worst, dare not even listen.
keep wanting to run away.
I am looking at the problem which lies between the both of us or perhaps its me.

There are times when we get irritated at each other was when i don't response or response at ones which does not require a response. What the heck was i thinking... I wonder.
I'm trying very hard but it seems to be getting nowhere.
Realise can't communicate well with you, i can't open up.

What can i do to not have this shit happen again.
Sometimes i think if the problem totally lies with me.. or u.
What is going to happen to the both of us in future... Can we both overcome it?
I am placing a huge bet on us.

silence

2010-04-29T11:00:00.000+08:00

Some times it is better to pretend then to tell and share every little details of what the situation is and how you are feeling. Its gets irritating after a while when you don't get the whole picture. Even if it is known, just don't go too far and too much. Every individual have their own limits..

whaaaaaaaaaat!

2010-04-23T22:00:00.000+08:00

Mind is in a mess. Everything is in a mess.
Can't seem to get anything right.

why?

2010-04-04T14:04:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i wonder how is it like to be single again.
Not that i want to be but it is just so scary.
Seeing people who thought of giving up their relationship for some trust and not spending enough time together.

Being in a relationship is scary too. It does not concern you but both!
There are so many un-answered answers to my question.
I wanna know but there is no answer to it yet till it happen.

This date, i will always remember.

2010-03-24T18:58:00.002+08:00

Looking back on how we met and how we became together just makes me wanna laugh.
Its been a year..
Never knew that a relationship can be so fun.
Though i said " After 3 months, a person's character will change".
You've proven me wrong for now. HAHA!
I love being with you.
Just a simple smile can brighten up my day.
Listening to your voice can warmth my heart.
Hearing you say, "I Love You" made me melt.
Every little thing you do makes me fall in love with you.
Thank you for being so patience with me and loving me.
Staying by my side and be my listening ear; giving me good advice.
I am prepared to face any challenges which strikes upon me and you.
Like what you've said " Nothing is worth fighting for if it isn't challenging. You don't know how much you love someone until you sacrifice so much".
I am looking forward for the next anniversary and on and on...
Last but no least, thank you for all the wonderful surprises and memories you have given me.

I love you with all my heart, B <3

2010-03-22T16:51:00.000+08:00

Been 12 days since i update my blog.
i am without my laptop. so its kinda tough to keep up with my daily ramblings online.
Gonna get back my lappy at the end of the month. I can't wait!! Because i am without it. There are many things i cannot do. For example, editing photos and printing it out. Also,watching and reading online.
Right now,i am using my sister's mini notebook. Least she is nice to lend me and defnitely wants food in return. HAHAH!

Anyway, for the past 2 weeks. After i came back from Macau. Been really lazy. I stopped going to work due to my laziness. All i can say is tiring!! Although i am not really in need of money but its better to save now then later when i need to go out and work and start paying for my own expenses.IT IS NOT EASY!!
Money is so freaking important.
So people out there, please start saving when you can. Its never too late...

MACAU!

2010-03-10T23:33:00.000+08:00

How is the feeling of traveling alone to macau?
Nervous and paranoid. Why?
You know...I am a muddle headed.Asking me to travel alone is kinda out of the question.
But it was pretty awesome! Not many travel alone unless those who are studying overseas.
For me, It was a really nice experience.

On board, I have the entire row of seat all to myself.
It was sort of a full flight. But there seems to be 5 to 7 seats empty including my 2 seats (:
The entire journey was bearable. Though when it was taking off and landing i feel like throwing up.
Guess it was due to the lack of sleep?? Oh well...i have no idea.
OH!! and since i am sooooo free now and it is the first day. I took photos!
Lets seeee.....

Dont know why...but i was calm looking! HAHAH!

Went for lunch at this place. Which i have no idea what is the street name.

The food wasn't too bad and was dirt cheap. I love the salted fish + mince meat claypot rice!!!

After Lunch, went to walk around the streets with my parents.

This is very very very very niceeeeee! Its egg biscuit. Is a must try!!

My mum said " Must take a photo with this building otherwise there's no point coming to Macau and to let people know i came here before."

This statue...I need to do research on that. Is like the female giving the flower to the male. Is it like the.......gift of love from the female to the male?!

Getting bored of the photos?! HOW DARE YOU!! haha.

Kidding..i am too free that's why i am posting almost everything(:

The rest are at the Venetian Hotel...

By the way, i had dinner at this BLUE FROG restaurant.

Weird name right???!! This restaurant serves western food.

Potato skin The bowl of soup was MUSHROOM SOUP!!

Last but not least...The main dish.

I has a rib eye steak, my dad had tenderloin steak and my mummy had grilled salmon.

After dinner, i was very full. I think i put on 1 kg...

Can't wait to go shopping tomorrow!!!!!

Hopefully, i can talk to baby tomorrow(:

Just don't get it.

2010-02-22T21:39:00.000+08:00

Why do emotions get involve so quickly when things happen?
Sometimes it gets rather difficult to deal with our emotions. As in, we need to be more alert and aware, also considering the people around us before we act.
I was dealing with it. Was telling myself to not behave this way but my emotions was too much to control.
I did not say anything but my actions and attitude was wrong.
I was very angry. Really angry!

But right now, everything is fine.
I should not let it affect me, affect my mood.
Tomorrow will be a better day! =D

get it no matter what

2010-02-20T12:10:00.001+08:00

Driving went well for me. Although i restart my engine twice..
First was when i leave up the clutch without stepping on the accelerator.

Second was my shoe got stuck by the carpet!! How can this even happen.....OMG!

Overall, i managed to get through everything smoothly.
Booked my Traffic Police! It is on 6th May. I MUST PASS.

I AM DESPERATE TO PASSSSssss!

And soon, i can drive! YESHA~
Drive my family ; my darling..

UNLUCKY!

2010-02-19T00:28:00.000+08:00

How can i be so muddle headed of not switching on my alarm clock.

Spending money on cab again. UGHHH!

Late for training and had no choice but to join the guys team.

Even better , I embarrassed myself in front of them when i fell flat on the ground.
Worst has yet to come... Slipped and fell on my left knee at home.
Was still able to laugh with my sister when i fell.

I NEED TO WAKE UP!!
Anyway, i'm going for diving lesson tomorrow (:
Bless me!

I love you!

2010-02-15T14:24:00.041+08:00

Had a wonderful time with baby.
Recieved a rose, a rose which i can keep it forever. So swwweeet! I LOVE IT!!!!
Had a picnic too; with wine and specially made sandwhiches,salad,my favourite carrot and sausage.
Isn't it lovely to have someone preparing something so sweet.
I felt like the luckiest girl on Earth.
Falling deeper with him each and every day.
To be honest, i am afraid of losing him.

Chinese New Year!

2010-02-14T15:02:00.000+08:00

GONG XI FA CAI!!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY ♥

May all lovers stay happy and sweet always(:

Loveeee you Bryan Ong!

freak.freaky. freaking!

2010-02-11T23:07:00.000+08:00

FREAKING LAZY!

Can time just pause.

Mentally tired.
Want a long long sleep.

Attitude.

2010-02-03T13:24:00.001+08:00

Been wanting to update but the cause of my laziness and tiredness has took over me.
It is going to be the end of semester 2. Yet i am feeling so restless.
But come to think about it. Everything that is going on in my life is nothing.
It sometimes occurs to me that i am wasting my time studying in school and my interest is becoming zero.
Where has my enthusiasm went when i first came to poly?
It is tiring to spend 8 hours in school dealing with just one problem.
" Cassandra!! What is the use of sayin without even any actions done or shown. You've already been through it for almost a year and going on to year 2"

Truee.. in two months time i will be in year 2.
Can't believe time passes so fast.
Passed my teenage years without having anything acomplish.
Only wasting, dragging my time.

You were right, i am not driven at all.
Have no motivation.
Felt like a total useless and a hopeless person.
It left me speechless.
Now and then, i wonder how will my life will become.
I have a bad attitude toward my life!

What would it be?

2010-01-31T00:34:00.000+08:00

Many Many or maybe, perhaaps i am thinking way too much.
Being flooded with thoughts. Not willing to share; difficult.
I.......just need some ( i don't know)
Troubled now. Ugghh!

Day N' Nite

2010-01-27T10:49:00.000+08:00

Dragging myself to school with no enthusiasm at all. Feeling tired and sore like as though i was risen from the dead. I need sleep badly. Well, that was in the morning.
After some time, and class was over! I was filled with laughter.
To start , Michelle Tong's Tutorial video.
To end , Christina's Joke.
It was totally hilarious which got most of us laughing non stop and gave us '6 pacs'.
I will never forget what happen! hahaha!

YAWN!!

2010-01-25T22:52:00.000+08:00

                                                              Been yawning the whole morning.
                                                            I need a good night sleep!
                                                                  GOOD NIGHT!

Long way to go

2010-01-24T21:48:00.000+08:00

A question was posted to me, leaving me in somewhere~
How is it possible when i am not allowed to but i would love to.
What if it is possible and something bad happen along the way.
Leaving off to two seperate ways.
Afraid of what is yet to come.
Wanna hold on tight and never let go.
Don't wanna look again.
The one, The one...I believe.

Played tennis with baby and his brother. Had a really great time with them. Baby improved so much! I was truly impressed with his hitting. As for me, i felt disappointed. I couldn't hit well at all. All my hits was high ball or otherwise out of court. And for the first time, I hit a ball which goes totally out of the court. EMBARRASSING!! I will and must improve!

Looking smart (when heels kills me)

2010-01-20T15:21:00.001+08:00

This is a day where everyone in my class, including me have to dress in formal attire.

Was looking forward with everyone looking smart, neat and tidy.

At the end of the day,

achieved BLISTER!

CUPCAKES!

2010-01-18T11:53:00.000+08:00

School was pretty well alright. Had lots of fun(:
Bought cupcakes which looks really nice but i have no idea what was the taste of it.

I bought the pink one(Strawberry) and gave it to baby.

Inferior

2010-01-17T12:24:00.000+08:00

What am i good at?
Rather sensitive to the topic "Academic".
I feel really sucky when my family talk about edusave award and studies.
Looking back, my report card has always been the lousiest among my family.
sigh. I dislike this part of me.

up up into the sky and wonder why!

2010-01-14T23:37:00.000+08:00

Passion and Enthusiasm comes from within?
Does love brings into the picture. I would say yes...
It may give you the urgency but not forgetting the motivation to complete one task or anything.
Is this the power of love?

MISS ME?

2010-01-10T00:22:00.000+08:00

okay, its been days. Very busy with school and lazy too!
Many happenings, ups and downs.
Alot to say, have no idea how to start..
But overall, i had quite a great week leaving out lessons.
GOODNIGHT!

What the heck?!

2010-01-03T05:08:00.003+08:00

What is it with the first and second day of Year 2010.
Am i a little too paranoid. i guess, yes!
What the hell was i thinking.
It is difficult to say..

2010

2010-01-01T02:23:00.001+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It was actually a good start but somehow or rather something happen.
Is this a bad omen?? I want to start right and end right. I want everything to go smoothly and no one there to stop me from doing the right things. Of course i will still need guidiance but i want to feel like a grown up.

Even before 2010,
Went to a last minute chalet with Celeste. Stayed over! OMG! because of them, i can't sleep. Perhaps i wasn't used to it staying at a foreign place.
Then met boy in the morning after he book out and i checked out. Passed him gifts which i got him. Hope he likes it(:
Now..i really needa sleep!

GOODNIGHT!

First Day Of the year!

2010-01-01T01:11:00.000+08:00

Should i say it went well for me or not.
It is like a roller coaster. But i came to understand many things. Try to accept it and change it.
The dream you told me. I was really afraid but any time it will happen. Not that i am being pessimistic but this is the consequences. It is like a sooner or later thing that i will face. There are times, i am really scared of you which make me want to just cry. It is sillly but i am this weak. You know it, i guess.. But i held back. You don't like crying without a reason, you don't like answers without details. I am trying very hard but many times it just slipped off my mind.
You told me " I can forgive but i will not forget " .
Many things just went through my head. Felt really sad.
I just felt many of the problems lies with me. I wanna run away but no..
I must learn and embrace it. This is life..Gotta keep learning, gaining and apply.

♥ B,you may only get to read this maybe after many days/ months. I don't know..
But i thank you for being so patient with me. You are not a person with high tolerance,gets fustrated easily.
I apologise for all that. It is irritating to hear many times of those words " I am Sorry" .
Will cut down and do the right thing. Won't upset you again..i will try my very best.
I want all things to go smoothly and well for the both of us. Definitely, i would love to have my parents meeting you. Perhaps this year..but i am afraid of the consequence. Still planning..
Lastly, i appreciate everything you have taught me,said to me and done for me. It is my good luck to have met you and you being my lover.
I love you loads!

BACK HOME(:

2009-12-29T23:30:00.000+08:00

I am back home! It is like finally...
I miss home
I miss Singapore
Most importantly, I miss my my boy!

On the way home from Malaysia. Alot of things was going through me. I can't believe that 2009 is going to end.
It is just another 2 days. Time passes really fast.
My new resolution of Year 2010 was planned when i was away.
I am continuing for my driving lesson during my break and achieve my license as soon as possible.
I need to think wisely before i act on anything.
I am not allowed to appear confuse when someone is speaking to me.
I need to get good grades not including C's but B's or A's
I need to lose my fats and weight.
There is more....but to myself (:

Freezing!

2009-12-27T02:08:00.000+08:00

Starbucks(:
chilling out with my lappy and hot chocolate!
I wanna upload the photos which my sister had taken in KL. But i am just so lazy and the internet connection is really bad!
So i will upload it when i am back in Singapore.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

2009-12-25T13:49:00.017+08:00

I am in Kuala Lumpur since yesterday. Celebrating christmas in a foreign country just seem so boring and not having the sense of home. Although i had nice, good food. But i still miss Singapore and my boy. I would love to spend time with him. Too bad, we're not fated. Maybe i am able to celebrate New Year's Eve. Wanna be the first to be able to celebrate with him!
Anyway, i went treking today. Its nice, a good exercise. Ate too much yesterday! Scary.....
I a falling asleep now. Very tired and am still waiting to bathe!!

Oink!

2009-12-22T20:46:00.002+08:00

Tired is the word for me! Work was as usual. But has no idea why was i so tired. Am i pms-ing?!
I think i am..
The moment i step home, have my dinner. I will definitely fall asleep on the couch.
Sleepy Sleepy. And i am missing my boy.. Can't see him till next year!
Oh my, this is really sleepy shit.
9 days more to 2010.
I wish i am able to celebrate with my boy and things will change for the better.

I want to feel like a grown up and not be treated like a little girl who needs to ask for so many permission and rules to follow. This is insane!

You are my Faithful Trooper, i am your Starlight

2009-12-21T20:47:00.002+08:00

It is not a suprise but a suprise of what am i getting for christmas.
I got a heart shaped necklance. Which i kind of expect it but not a heart shaped. It is a christmas present!! Get what i mean?

It is so lovely and i love it very much!
Thank you,my love..

Now, i can have u by my side(:

Complete.

2009-12-21T00:40:00.000+08:00

Been slacking at home the whole day. Was too lazy to even do anything but lie on the bed; watching television and chatting on line.
Till night time, when boy says webcam! It was hilarious and funny! Simply miss him so much (:
Happy Face (:

Sad Face ):

Retarded Face!!!

Just so funny!! hahaa(:

FUCK MY LIFE!

2009-12-19T23:49:00.000+08:00

This is freaking unfair. Why me, to give in and endure. I got to think of every single people. Giving up my happiness. Rather one unhappy then the rest. Why must it always be me. I wonder, what you say. Have u ever done it? Have u shown any of that...Be a role model? NO! Probably only role model when dad and mom is around.Also, asking us to lie for you. What do we get in return...nothing but scolding and lies from you. FULL OF SHIT!

Stay in love

2009-12-19T12:27:00.000+08:00

Went over to Michelle Tong's to do my nails. She is such a talent, my nails was done so beautifully.
I LOVE IT(: Thank you!!!
Even though my nails was nice, i have a bad time managment. A bad serious one.. Boy waited an hour for me. He also waited for me while i was doing my nails. This takes up alot of patient.
Felt very guilty about it. I need to work on that. And i will ! For the sake of myself and everyone.

Killing me softly

2009-12-18T00:36:00.000+08:00

Its cold, really cold. Felt like i own an old women's body.
Never like this weather, never like to feel so cold without a jacket.

Caught in the middle.

2009-12-17T01:21:00.000+08:00

Need a life of my own. Can i do the things i like?

I LOVE THE SUN(:

2009-12-15T21:34:00.000+08:00

Tennis + sun = SEXY!

Right now, i am as red as a lobster. I wanna get tanned. Being fair makes me look like some ghost, i don't like it. So...my aim is to get darker! okay, this is crazy but this is ME!
I am so glad that my boy played tennis. This is what i have always wanted. To have a boyfriend who can play with me! He was really good. SO much improvement shown within 3 hours. Next time, i can ask him to play with me(:
After tennis, had pepper lunch! Filling man.. But it was an enjoyable one. Had fun talking with eilene and her bf.
Overall, i have fun!! Wanna have this kinda thing again! hehe

FINALLY!

2009-12-12T23:44:00.001+08:00

YAY! baby is on the way home. Can't wait... I'm so excited!
I miss him so so much. Gonna give him a big, tight hug when he is back.

14th

2009-12-11T20:57:00.000+08:00

2 more days left and soon i can seee my boy(:
Marketing was simply not interesting. I was practically confused. I dare not speak up and i have no idea why.
So i just narrowed down my possibilities. I have no confidence.Afraid being laughed at or maybe embarrassed. And one word that i am sensitive will be 'stupid'. How to build up one's confidence level? is it simply by just speaking what ever is on your mind and be blunt?

I have been having this problem since secondary school. What i have on my mind, i dare not speak up and share my ideas. Whereas i need the help of my friends to get my message across. Doesn't it just prove one point. I am a slow worker when it comes to using my brains to analyse and think.

13th

2009-12-10T20:48:00.000+08:00

Can i simple just go home early everyday? Just felt so great coming home early. The fact that i am always home late was just simply because i need to attend talks in order to clear my CE points which is a really stupid thing to have the Points. It is a waste of time but i have no choice.
So was home idling. Facebook-ing, msn-ing and movie-ing!
I can't wait((: HEHEHEHEH!

12th

2009-12-10T13:02:00.000+08:00

Counting down to the 14th and i can finally see my boy! Had a really long day. School as usual but with understanding test. COGNITIVE! should be fine. Though i finished it, i hope i am able to achieve a B.
Everything ends at 5pm. Rush straight home to get clothes for work. I was 30 mins late for work due to the traffic flow. First day of work was pretty alright-manageable. End at 9.30pm and rush home to get my reflective journal done. Got to ask my sister for help. I couldn't think of any examples.. Im glad i have her!
No matter how irritating she can be, how vulgar she is... She has a very kind heart!

11th

2009-12-09T00:02:00.000+08:00

Happening tuesday! Put on fake eyelashes which is my first time. So fun and awesome- even shy to walk out of RP. I look different which they all say. Isabel was practically looking at my eyes. She was the make up artise for my eyes. She's a beauty too!

After i am done with the lashes, went on to dhoby ghaut to get christmas gift. Took quite some time to decide. I hope the reciever will like it. As i had step into the shop 3 times and i will step in again! I wanna get that samurai sword and pistol. I LOVE IT SO MUCH! I was even dreaming that i will have one display room having all my collections. Make it into a museum! Which seems rather impossible though. I need to earn big money! Which i know i will in future. So i need to work hard(:

Had a fun time talking over the phone with my boy! i can see him soon!! (:

OH! after many years i have finally took photo with a american girl. She is so LOVELY! nice blue eyes.

Her name is valentine, 15 months old from france. SO ADORABLE!!

10th

2009-12-07T23:52:00.000+08:00

I am not in a mood to blog..

Someone just spoilt my mood and i spoilt his..

FULL STOP!

9th

2009-12-07T10:18:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHANEL!

Celebrated her birthday,photos will be uploaded soon..

I had a busy and a stress day.My mum was making whole load of noise shouting,then throwing whatever she see that pissed her off. In order to prevent her from throwing my things,i threw mine.
I packed everything and threw away some of my precious. I cannot bear to throw it away though. But i have no choice. It took me several hours to get my things organised. Honestly, i hate packing. Hoping someone can be there to help me. BUT NO! Well, i need to be independant and i am old enough to do so..
OH! 7 days more(:
Can't wait......